Monday, 5 August 2013

Where am i heading....

So its only 14 days left for preliminary exams. And I still haven't got my act together.I am making the same mistake but I cant afford to do that again this time. I have been kicked and beaten and walloped, quite figuratively, that is. So here I am. 29  years old, married with an 8th month old daughter, living with my parents (wifey is away  doing her post graduation  at college) and even after 4 and half years instead of the usual three, haven't completed my master's degree. No, i was never a bad student. Always the straight A types, but definitely not the nerdy types either. I wasted one year extra due to my dissertation or rather was made to ( let's not go there right now) and then in march this year i failed my MS exam. Failed. That is the first time I ever flunked a major exam, that too practicals. I blacked out in the vivas. And thus here I am.....I chucked everything and came back home ( I was supposed to join my hospital on voluntary basis, yeah right, after doing one year extra already, i would do that) and hid myself. Literally. I don't go out, don't socialize, even pray at home to avoid bumping into relatives, friends, acquaintances and the well meaning well wishers off course, who are greatly interested in what I am doing right now and when the hell am I going to set up my own practice. I had made great plans about how much I would read but in reality spent time moping around and fighting with depression. So that brings us to the current situation, only 14 days left and am nowhere near the starting point.

The second issue of my life. My Weight. I wouldn't say that in  past I was a lean and fit type (no i wasn't) and gained weight recently. I was pleasantly overweight since last decade. but when my thesis track got all messed up I got depressed and took to eating, or rather I would say bingeing. In school till the 10th grade i was pretty active and fit, with athletics, swimming skating, dancing etc taking up my time. But when you start reading for your career that early, you start gaining weight. It gradually went up. when the first year in MBBS got over I went straight into being overweight. Been stuck there for a decade till last year when I turned to food for comfort and the scales shot up. For my small body frame of 5 feet 11 inches (181 cm) I went to a whopping 105 kilograms!!! I was so sick, so unfit. Could barely move around. Even taking one flight of stairs left me breathless. And also I do have asthma which was spiraling out of control. None of my clothes fit me. And to add to this I failed.
I had enough. I Realized I had to do something about my life. It started with the weight problem. So I set out on a fat fighting mission and thus studies took the back burner. But hell yeah, I did get somewhere with the fat problem. In the last two months I have managed to come down from being obese to being mere overweight. Currently my weight is 93.3 kg according to my gym scales. My old clothes fit again, albeit a bit tight. Now am starting to see changes.And my fitness levels, woohoo baby....I can run, only for 15 minutes though (no big deal you may say, but remember one flight of stairs left me breathless).


 Forgive the typos, in a bit of hurry now. Have to take darling daughter to see her pediatrician, she has been having this dry cough since yesterday and its freaking me out. See you soon.

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