Sunday, 20 October 2013

So, What is next?

So here we are. One issue down. Well the purpose of starting this blog was to document the total mess my life was in and my faltering steps to get everything up and running back. I passed THE EXAM finally. So apparently all I am left with is the Weight Loss shenanigans. Honestly I just don’t feel anything at present. Yeah, I did mention in the previous post that I was having emotions just like the vocal range of the legendary Whitney Houston. A whole wide range, to be precise. But that has passed. Ok, there might be some anger still simmering beneath the surface or a bit of fear lurking around in the dark corners of my mind, but overall it is the indifference. The actual big question is WHAT IS NEXT? That is exactly what everyone around asks me the very moment after congratulating me. If I had my ways, I would snap, none of your business dude, but alas I can’t do that. I am a grown up and now a professional, and that does not sound very mature or a professional thing to do. However hard I may try to avoid it, but “WHAT IS NEXT?” does hang in front of my eyes like that famed HOLLYWOOD sign. And the best part? I am totally clueless. 

I have absolutely no idea. I have been at home for six months, not having touched a scalpel since that long. And as usual I lack confidence in myself. I really can’t stand people judging me, but when I will step out in the REAL world all eyes would be one me, as a professional of course (now I ain’t a supermodel or something, duh.) I think I do have something up my sleeve, but I don’t know why but it sounds a bit hare brained to me, may be downright stupid to others. But I can’t think of any other thing, given the history. I am planning to join a senior surgeon, just as an observer. That is the dumbest idea, given that I am a certified surgeon myself. Honestly I have lost faith in myself completely. Anyways I have been out of the loop, sitting at home for the last six months. So that is my plan for getting back in the grind. I might think of a teaching job. I love to teach. Right now money isn’t everything for me. I might sound a romantic when I say this, but believe me I am not that anymore, it is only for time being and I do have other plans but too early to say about them. Don’t want to count my chickens before they hatch.

Anyways coming down to the weight loss thingy, I am not going anywhere with that. Already I had gained back 4 kilos. And I have been pretty irregular with gym this week. Honestly haven’t been to gym since Monday. That’s real bad physically and financially. Am wasting my bucks it seems. Plus add to it that wifey was here for the holidays. And the holiday themselves. All that adds up to bloated fat feeling, which I guess are manifesting for real. Right now am scared to get upon the scales. I am pretty sure they would swing in the unfavorable direction. 
Remember I told you that I have two important weddings to attend in the first weeks of November and December each. Right now am planning to skip the November wedding. Reasons, gadget, reasons. So for the December wedding I have exactly 7 weeks to get into shape. Well I might even have to resort to some squishy innerwear (hey I hadn’t anticipated the recent weight gain, and it is all in the middle area). Still even if I have a loss of 1 kilo per week, which means literally starving myself and is near impossible, it comes to a measly 7 kilo weight loss. Only if I set a goal of 2 kilos that is 4.4 pounds loss per week then I might end up at 80 kilos, and that I guess would definitely show on my frame. But that’s totally impossible to achieve. Still they say, if you wanna reach the tree tops aim for the stars…. In no way it can be real but that’s the way I will have to go if I wanna razzle dazzle at the wedding…….

So let’s kick in from tomorrow…….all the best to me, myself and I.

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